Anger

Hey all, 

         I know that it's been quite a while since I last updated my blog. I've just been busy and going through a lot of tough times. But anyway, here's the bible verse for tonight's blog: "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil." ~Ephesians 4:26-27.  In other words, these verses are telling us this: "The Bible doesn't tell us that we shouldn't feel angry, but it points out that it is important to handle our anger properly. If vented thoughtlessly, anger can easily hurt others and destroy our relationships with those that are around us. If bottled up inside, it can cause us to become bitter and destroy us completely from within. Paul tells us to deal with our anger immediately in a way that builds relationships rather than destroying them. Are you angry with someone right now? What can you do to resolve your differences? Don't let the day end before you begin to work on mending your relationship." The reason why I chose these bible verses is because it's been on my mind for quite a few weeks now.  In these few weeks, there has been a lot happening to make me angry. For example, a disgruntled boss whose miserable and wants to make you miserable to. It's as if this specific person never has anything good to say about you, it's always something negative. Once you screw up, they're all over your case, and it just makes me really quite angry, know what I mean? I'm a human, I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, just like the rest of us do. It's like lady, give me a break, I'm doing the best that I can with what I can. There's a lot of times where I wish that I could say something back, but I don't. I hold my tongue. I usually wait until I get home to vent about it. I feel like I've been so quiet for so long and I need to start speaking my mind, but the truth is, I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that. 

     I know that I shouldn't get so angry so easily, but I do. Sometimes, I just can't help it.  I am sick and tired of being a push over and not being able to stand up for what's right and for myself.  The more I think about this, the more aggravated I get. In the Bible, God tells us to be slow to anger, and quick to react. I'm guilty of not being able to do that. I can only take so much, then I burst. A lot of the time, I don't think before I speak, and I end up hurting people around me, and ruining a relationship, that can take in this case, a year to gain, but for others, it takes several years to make a relationship happen and to be on good terms with that person or persons that are in this particular relationship. I am also guilty of holding everything in, and then letting it all out on this one person or persons after a huge amount of time that goes by.  Sometimes, I hate being so introverted, but other times, I don't hate being introverted so much. In addition, also in the Bible, it says something about God cherishing those souls that are quiet, so it's kind of a difficult situation that I'm in.  I'm sorry for talking all about myself here, but this is just the way I've been feeling lately. I should really be writing more about God and his creations, but I am a part of his many creations, so I guess that it's okay, to talk about myself just this once. I figure that I should write about it in here, rather than exploding on someone randomly because I've been holding all of this in for way too long. Understand what I mean here? I'm sure that you all do, and have been in similar situations like mine. 

              I guess that I just feel like if I don't say or write anything, it'll burst out of me like a monster, so it has to stop right here, right now.  Honestly guys, I just wish that this disgruntled boss of mine would appreciate all of the good things that I do for them at this particular job in general. I have been at this current job for 2 and a half almost 3 years now, and it's starting to get really old, really fast. I'm probably one of the best associates that they have ever had working for this particular company. I feel like I need a new beginning, a new challenge in my life, but I'm not exactly sure what that will be, but God does. All I can really do is pray about it and ask God for his help with this sticky situation. God will answer me, and show me, it will probably just take a lot of time. It's all in God's time, not on my time.  I trust him fully and I know that he will take care of me, and I know that he has a bigger plan for me, than I do for myself. In time, it will all be revealed to me. But until then, I'll have to pray, listen, and wait. A wise woman once said to me that we need to be patient and to listen to what God will be saying to us, whether it's good, bad, indifferent, or something better.  I would like to close this blog entry with a quick prayer, can you all please pray these words with me? " Dear God, I know that I'm a sinner, and not perfect, I am guilty of not trusting you fully with all of my heart, I am only human, we all make mistakes, and are not perfect, please Lord, help us to be more like you with our minds, bodies, and souls. Help us to be better followers for you, better listeners to you, and for always being able to trust you with our whole hearts, because none of us can do this on our own, because apart from you, we are nothing. Thank you, Lord, I love you, Amen!"

~Emily P.