Feeling Stuck?

Hey All,
   I know it's been a couple of months since I've updated this blog, but I'm back now and be prepared because it's a long blog entry.  This Bible verse that I used for this blog entry is based off of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Enjoy: "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.  Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not easily broken."  In other words, it's telling us this: "Cooperating with others has advantages.  Life is designed not for isolation, but for companionship; not for loneliness, but for intimacy.  Some people prefer isolation because they feel that they cannot trust anyone.  We are not here on earth to serve ourselves, but to serve God and others.  Don't isolate yourself from others and "go it alone." Seek companionship and be a team member instead.

         Let's see, where do I even start to relate to this above Bible verse? Well, here goes, I know what it's like to feel lonely, heck, I even know what it's like to "go it alone," so to speak, all my life, I've been lonely and had acquaintances, but not exactly friends.  It feels as if, I've been fighting this lifelong battle all by myself, with absolutely no help at all whatsoever, until I found God, because without God, I probably wouldn't be here right now.  So, quite frankly, I'm just tired of it and wish that it would just disappear forever.  I'm done fighting and trying so hard to be something that I'm just not.  I just want to feel relaxed and let God fight the rest of this ugly, messy, battle that's been going on inside me for far too long, do you know what I mean? I sure hope so.

         I have this feeling of angst inside me, and I really want to let it go, but for some odd reason, I just can't let it go.  The fact that I can't let it go, is literally just killing me and ripping me apart from the inside out.  I'm turning into a monster, because of this feeling, and I absolutely hate it, it needs to disappear right here, right now, it isn't pretty, must. go. away.right.now.  Please Lord, help this monstrosity disappear from me and my life right now.  I feel like it's time to spread my wings and fly, but the question is, what's holding me back and why? Please Lord, give me the answer, so I can get it all figured out, before it's way too late.  Help me to spread these wings and just fly, so that I can just live this life the way that you want me to live it, Lord.  You put me down here on this earth for a reason, now help me to find that reason, Lord, so that I can live it out for you, Lord, not for me, but for you, my Lord.  At the end of my life, on that final judgement day, I want to be able to say that I used everything you've given me, to do for you, Lord, do you understand me, Lord? I definitely hope so. Thank you, Lord, I love you, Amen." Does everybody else out here, understand what this message is trying to say to you from the Lord, through me?  let's hope so because that is what I'm trying to do to reach the lost, so they can become saved before it's too late, and you go to straight down to hell, for the rest of your life in eternal damnation.  But when you go to heaven, it will all be worth the fighting for in the end.

         Heaven is going to be one very large, unending party.  That sounds good, right? The answer is yes because in Heaven, you'll see Jesus and His heavenly father, all of their angels, and the best part is the fact that you'll be reunited with all of your friends and family, and loved ones, who left too soon, and went before us, including all of the pets you've had before they died.  They're waiting to greet you, once you've gone home to The Lord at the very end of your life.  Got it? Good! Now repent and change your ways immediately, he's waiting! Amen?!?!? I say, Amen!!! To be continued...eventually.

 ~Emily P.