Frustrations

Have you ever felt frustrated about everything that's going on in your life that's bad? I know I do. Do you ever wish that things were a lot different? Once again, I do. I'm trying pretty hard to change my life and it sure as heck isn't easy. It's incredibly difficult. There are times when I just want to give up and forget about everything. A lot of the time,I feel like things will never change even though they eventually will. It just takes a whole lot of time. Opinions change,lives change,people change,friends change,family changes,jobs change,etc. I want the change to be for better not worse. Relationships are incredibly difficult as well. Nothing worth while is ever easy. I've heard that phrase time and time again,and honestly I believe that. In this time of struggle and pain,it's not easy to cope with by yourself and that's when you need your family and friends the most to help you through this crap. But as for me,I don't have a lot of friends and it truly sucks. But I am very grateful to have my family standing by my side through these horrible times supporting me and pushing me and making sure that I make all the wisest decisions that I possibly can. I know that I need to start getting serious about my life,but it takes so much hard work and I honestly don't really want to do that,but I know that as soon as I take the first step,I'm already on to bigger and better things in life including all this love that I have to give to every single person in my life even a certain someone that I can't stop thinking about even though things ended between us not that long ago and it's really tough to move on with him and just be friends and of course I don't want to just be friends with him and he knows that. But I just have to face the facts and try to get over it because sometimes starting over as friends can lead to something so much more and honestly,I want to get to that point,but I have to take that first step before anything can happen. I'm just really frustrated about what's going on between us at the moment and I truly wish that i could do something more to prove to not just him,but everyone in my family how much I truly appreciate and cherish them and him. I just don't know exactly how to go about doing that. With the advice that I got from him,I decided to take it to my heart and get really serious about this particular thing. I've decided to read the bible and really get to know God,but most importantly myself. I am more than willing to transition into a totally different person than I used to be before I met him. I never ever want to go back to the way I was before he happened. I want to run far far away from that. That thing was a monster and I didn't like how I felt and who I was before I met him. Since I met him,I've seen certain changes in myself that a select few people can already see and they want to see more of that person I'm changing drastically into. I like the positive vibes that I'm getting back from certain family members,so the advice I took is definately going to be worth all of this pain and suffering in the end. The truth is he was right about how reading his word can help you begin to make this transition of life into a really good thing. It is taking a lot of hard work,in doing this work I don't look back to my bad past that often anymore,because in all honesty, that crap no longer matters anymore. It was torture and literally a living hell. Nobody wants to go through that kind of hell at all in their life because they clearly don't deserve it and they are worth so much more than being treated horribly. Life really and truly doesn't have to be as complicated as we make it. It's so pointless and worthless to feel like crap and going about your day with no hope and whatnot. It's just complete foolishness and all a lie. There's lots of hope for everybody in this world even though people may feel differently about it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living your life. Just keep looking up and know with the deepest part of your heart that God loves you and he has something huge planned for each and every one of us even those who haven't been saved by him yet. There's still time, so start working on that relationship with God. God wants to have a relationship with you, you just need to open up your hearts and let the Lord do his amazing works in you and around you. The first step is always the hardest, but as soon as you take that first step, your already on to bigger and better things. The wider you open your hand the more the Lord will give to you. It just takes a whole lot of hard work,because he can't just give things to you, you need to work towards those things. There is really no point to faith and belief if God just gave you every single thing that you wanted,people would just expect it and believe in the Lord for all of the wrong reasons. Keep up the hard work because in the end it will all be revealed to you. He'll show you exactly why he put you through all the crappy hard times in your lives in the past,present,and even the future. There is reasons for everything. There will be a lot of questions and confusions as to why your going through this and sometimes the Lord will answer you right away and other times it will take days even weeks for him to give you an answer. Even when he gives you the answer it won't always be what you expected and it will sometimes be things you don't want to hear, but in the end you know it's the truth. Sometimes the answer is wait,sometimes it will be nothing,and other times it will just be a feeling inside your heart whether it's broken,complete,or whatever it will always be that feeling deep down inside you and from there you try to make the correct decision and other times you may not listen to that feeling in your heart, so you'll just suffer even more and I can promise you that it will NOT be fun at all whatsoever. So the best thing to do is follow what your heart is telling you and be wise in all decisions both good and bad. Do not disobey him, do not go away from him,stay with him. Even if you do go away from him, he will always come back and find you or you will always go back and find him. You always find a way to come back to God. My advice to all of you is this: Stay with him and everything will turn out just fine. I'm going to once again close this blog with this bible verse: Proverbs 3:5. Put all of your trust in the Lord because I promise you that you will not be disappointed.