How many of you have ever asked yourself, will this ever end? That's a question that I've been thinking about for a while now and so far, no answer. I feel like God will never give us a break. It's like things have gone from bad to worse. In Job 3:23-26, it says this " Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in? For my sighing cometh before I eat, and my roarings are poured out like the waters. For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came." To me, this bible verse makes a whole of sense to me, and I can sort of relate to how Job was feeling. As you all know, in these past few months, my family and I have been going through a lot of trial and tribulation. Some bigger than others. For example, my dad's back has just gone from bad to worse. He feels like it'll never get better. My mom and I feel as if we're all fighting a war, and that the war will never be over. We all have spent many nights up really late due to all that has been our minds lately. In times such as this, we often find it very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It feels like it's taking forever to get here, and we're all running very low on faith. It's as if we're lost and stuck in the dark. I just want us all to be able to move forward from this, but it feels like we're stuck here and not going anywhere fast. It's as if everything is crumbling all around us. Our life is not given merely for happiness and personal fulfillment, but for us to serve and honor God with all of our hearts. The worth and meaning of life is not based on what we feel, but on the one reality no one can take away- which is God's love for us. Don't assume that because God truly loves you, he will always prevent you from suffering. God's love cannot be measured or limited by how great or how little we may suffer. Romans 8: 38 and 39 teaches us that nothing can separate us from His love. Romans 8: 38 and 39 say this " For I am persuaded , that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor death, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." I truly believe in this bible verse, but like I said above, sometimes it's really difficult to not let things separate us from God, because of all that I've been through. Some good, some not so good. But the truth is, I always end up coming back to God no matter what I had just been through. In all honesty, I feel like I have gone through hell and back. Sometimes,I still feel like I'm in hell due to all that has happened recently. I think that we've all suffered enough, and I think that the suffering should be over for us permanently. I think that it's time for a whole slew of good things to start happening, like now. Seriously, enough is enough! I've had it! It's just so frustrating ya know? None of us deserve to be going through what we're going through right now, it is seriously a living hell. It's not fun. It's ridiculus and stupid and causing us more pain than we deserve. We've been through enough. Stop the world, I want to get off. May God please help us all, because we desperately need it. I don't know about any of you, but I am so sick and tired of walking around in this world full of pain,angst,stress,heart break, worry, etc. I am so sick of walking around and trying to be happy and act happy, I've just had enough. Something's Gotta Give and soon! It feels like I'm being pulled in two completely different directions. I feel like I need to get away from here for a while. Do any of you have those days where you just want to be alone and not ever bothered? I've been feeling a lot like that lately, it's just crazy and really stupid. Certain people in this world, really suck. I've dealt with some of them everywhere I go. I also hate feeling helpless and useless, like a waste of space. I also hate not being able to drive to go to places that I want to go. It's like i'm stuck and can't go anywhere. It's so aggravating. It's like I want to get up and do something and go somewhere without relying on anybody else to take me. I know this is only temporary, but this really sucks, it needs to end now. I know that I have God, but things are just getting more and more difficult to deal with. I absolutely hate being stuck in the middle of everything. I'm praying to God every night, but does he hear me? Will he answer me? That, I do not know. I'm not sure if I'll ever know about anything anymore. I'm listening for what he's trying to say to me, but I'm not hearing anything. Is he really speaking to me or am I just imagining that he's speaking to me? I don't know, I just don't know anymore. Is He happy with me? Am I doing anything right? Am I pleasing him? I'm getting absolutely no answers at all whatsoever. It's getting to a point where I just want to give up on everything. It's just absolutely ridiculus. I think i'm on the verge of a nervous break down. God, help me please. God, give me the strength to get through all of this and carry on with my life in a happy, healthy way, Lord, help to hear and understand what your saying to me and help me to do what it is that you want me to do, because I don't know what to do anymore, Lord, Help me, please help me. Please help me to be strong and remain positive, and help us all to see the light at the end of the tunnel, help us all to move forward with our lives, help us all to put all of our differences aside and work together as a family, help us to forgive and forget, Help us all to work these things out. Thank you, Lord, I love you, amen! So, in conclusion to this, I'm sorry for venting to you all, but I've just been holding it all in so long, that I just needed to get it all out with hopes that things will slowly start to get better not just for me, but for my family also. Thank you, and God Bless.
~Emily j. Pica
